Excuses For Calling In Sick

Sometimes you want to use a good excuse when calling in sick to work and you don’t want to use the same ole boring “my nose is stuffy” or “I have a sore throat” excuses. Your boss knows those are BS and you might as well say “look I just don’t feel like coming into work today”. While that is believable (and the truth) it is of course unacceptable.

Next time when calling in sick try one of these excuses below. They are not run of the mill and even if way out there you will not be questioned. Why? Because you’ll sound crazy and who can argue with crazy?  Give it a try!!

  • If it is all the same to you I won’t be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
  • When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it.
  • I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e * log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
  • I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
  • I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet…
  • I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
  • Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won’t be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I’ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
  • Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
  • I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
  • The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am startled.
  • The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
  • I prefer to remain an enigma.
  • My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
  • I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
  • I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
  • I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
  • I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

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Confidence

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.

Southern California Wild Fires

This is a time lapse video of the Station Fire located in the mountains that surround Los Angeles.
In the night shot it looks like almost the whole mountain rage is on fire. 2 brave firemen lost their lives in this fire. If it was started due to arson I hope the assholes get caught and have their balls placed in a vice.
They still haven’t caught the guy that started the Waterman Canyon fire from a couple of years ago. Sadly at this point they probably won’t either, but I still hold out hope.

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Time Lapse Test: Station Fire from Eric Spiegelman on Vimeo.

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Girlfriend Doesn’t Realize Boyfriend Is In Europe

Yep, I’m pretty sure I’ve dated this girl too. You know the kind, the one that doesn’t listen to anything and everything is about her. Crazy girlfriends are only good girlfriends for one night as long as they don’t know how to ever reach you again. She thinks she’s so hot you’ll never do any better, but her delirium makes a bullet to the head seem like a good idea. By the way, that’s not a good idea either but you get my point.

Do not introduce them to your friends, do not give them your Twitter, FaceBook or email address. If you’re on MySpace you deserve a stupid girlfriend like this because you haven’t experienced life yet.


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Los Angeles Dodgers Theme

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Giant Surf at the Wedge

Giant surf at the Wedge (Newport Beach, CA), shot during an epic south swell on July 24 & 25, 2009. Waves sized in excess of 25 feet, created dangerous conditions at this world renowned bodysurfing break. A small number of bodysurfers, bodyboarders and surfers rode the Wedge during the swell. Tragically, one bodysurfer died in the massive surf, despite heroic efforts by Wedge Crew, Point Panics (HI) bodysurfers and Newport Beach lifeguards, to save him. Video: Seabear. Coming soon… the Wedge Documentary

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Protest Against MLPA

This is from Tommy AKA M/V Santa Rosa from BloodyDecks. He’s seen a lot, knows a lot and experienced it all.

With the way they schedule the MLPA meetings they intentionally make it hard for many of us to show up and show support of voice our concerns. However Tommy thought of a way that all boat owners and fishermen can show support on any given day.

========================================================

In the 70s San Diego had the AMERICAN TUNA FLEET, which at that time was the biggest and best in the world. San Diego was home port to over 275 seiners and was also home base for the largest tuna vessels in the world.

During this time, news got out about the killing of dolphins while fishing tuna. Now the American fleet killed about 1 out of 100 trapped inside the net.

The American fleet were the only guys that would jump into the net, full of tuna, and sharks and save what we could. Ever taken a 80 pound tuna in the chest at 40 MPH? It leaves a mark, trust me.

Okay, well we fought and wrote letters and the American tunaboat assc went to Washington for us, and still the people protested against canned tuna.

Right up to the time when then Gov Gerry Brown started to pay attention, and the american fleet all 275 plus vessels came into San Diego bay, all by name A thru Z, and blocked the bay.

Things changed for the American tuna fishermen, now, yes about 20 years later we lost, but that was because the canneries all left..so can it be done? you bet it can, the question is not if it can be done, or when it can be done, the question is do we as anglers has the nuts to get it done?

Just think if every angler around just hooked up his/her vessel and towed it around town for a week, with protest signs hanging from it, No big rally, no big traffic jam up, just all over the city trailer boats with protest signs on it… You got rod holders don’t ya,, well, stick a sign it that and drive it around town…..easy pezzie nice and easy like right?

As I read through more of that thread I have to suggest you read it too.  Protest Against MLPA


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This is the next free Wordpress theme I’m listing, is another Wordpress fishing theme. Somewhat of an offshoot  of the deep sea fishing theme. I’ve taken the schooling tuna background from that theme and placed it in the header here. This Wordpress theme comes pre-loaded SEO Friendly, widget ready and fast loading. The colors are easy on the eyes which also make the text very easy to read. It’s got 3 columns for easy access to all the info you wish to display. It’s also got a wide page to allow for plenty of info or ad space.

This is a free Wordpress theme, and free for you to use in any manner you wish. The only thing I require is that you leave the footer intact and not remove the link back to my site.

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Live and Recorded Video From Iran

Live updates from Tehran concerning the Iran Election. These videos really show what it’s like at ground level in Tehran and other parts of Iran.

Both video players below start autoplay so you’ll get audio from both. Turn the audio off which one you don’t want to listen to. Unless you speak Farsi you’ll probably want to watch a the top video player. If you do speak Farsi (I do not) then you can likely watch either video player.

Live video from Tehran when available. Otherwise you’ll see streaming raw footage previously recorded. Tehran is about 11.5 hours ahead of California time. So typically if it daylight in the U.S. it’s night time there.

If you see static give the video a second to load, it’ll be there soon. If you have a blog please link back to this post.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Online Beat Box Champion

This chick is the Online Beat Box Champion (whatever that means) and she doesn’t even look bad. Aren’t most beat boxers some greasy headed pimply white kid from suburbia or a ghetto hip hopper form the inner city. Call me naive but that’s all I’ve ever seen. This beat boxing babe doesn’t fit my stereo typical role of a beat box champion. But then again I’m just a cracker from Huntington Beach, CA anyway.

Seriously how do people do this? Not why do they do it? But how? Beatboxing? I’m good at things with my mouth but this is not one of them. If I could beat box anywhere close this (really all I can do is make farting sounds) I’d irritate everyone around me because I’d never stop.

Give props to this babe of the day and what she can do with her mouth. This is INSANE!

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Ok so I figured out after I made this post I spelled Beatbox wrong So let me get this right here. She is the Online Beatbox Champion, I wish I could beatbox and aren’t most beatboxers greasy haired white kids and more beatbox yada yada.

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